Jimmer

Just recently I hired a chauffeur to take me to my place of employ. His pay is zero dollars per hour. This is great except I chauffeur my chauffeur the other half of the time. The bad thing is, my chauffeur has a unbecoming habit of always forgetting to pay me. So in other words, I work for this loser for free. I guess it all equals out since he also works for me for free anyway.

This chauffeur, we'll call him Steve, has his car radio tuned to some AM sports talk radio station all the time while riding in his car. As of late, there has been a lot of buzz over this BYU ball player named Jimmer Fredette. As everyone knows, he's become quite the darling in the world of sports. I even hear that people, namely women, want to name their children after this athlete. Now, I have nothing against this Jimmer guy in any way. He's seems like a guy I would want to play a casual pick up game with. OK, maybe that'd be a stupid idea. "Hey, Jimmer come kick my ass in B-ball. I need to be Jimmered". Jimmered?

Here's my definition of what the word jimmer has now come to mean so far as I have interpreted it based on the news attained while listening to Steve's radio:

Jimmer

[Jim-er]

verb, 

–verb

1. to beat another team senselessly

2. to be beaten by someone who is clearly more skilled than yourself

3. to gloat over after winning

4. to score an outrageous amount of points in a game

5. to be superior to

6. to be scammed by someone
7. used as a curse word

-Related forms

jim·mer·ly, adverb

jim·mer·ness, jim·mer·os·i·ty, noun

non·jim·mer·os·i·ty, noun

non·jim·mer·ous, adjective

non·jim·mer·ous·ly, adverb

non·jim·mer·ous·ness, noun

o·ver·jim·mer·ous, adjective

o·ver·jim·mer·ous·ly, adverb

o·ver·jim·mer·ous·ness, noun

qua·si-jim·mer·ous, adjective

qua·si-jim·mer·ous·ly, adverb

This word might show some potential. I suppose, if you want to impress those around you, just insert the word jimmer into any conversation and you'll be sure to get the respect and admiration you've ever desired. For example, just say, "Hey, those Jazz quasi-jimmerously defeated those Spurs tonight. Whatta game huh?", or, "I didn't play very well tonight. My performance was just so nonjimmerous, ya know?", or "Dammit, I got jimmered again. That's just my luck". 

So, what if jimmer becomes an actual word in the dictionary? What then? How about those people who end up giving their kids the name Jimmer. What's in store for them? What if the word becomes commonly used like, for example, bacon? Worse yet, it could possibly evolve into a curse word. I could only imagine what strange sounding sentences could possibly have the word jimmer in it. ''What the jimmer, you still owe me ten bucks", or "You're such a jimmerhole, Jimmer", or "There's so much jimmer I have to do before 5 o'clock, what a headache".

For me, perhaps the word jimmer will only just be one of those fad words some crazed fans made up that'll slowly die off as it loses it's catchy flare. I only hope it'll be bandied about for only a modicum of time before the next fun word of the day comes along. I have a sinking feeling that it's here to stay at least in the sporting world or sports commentary when Jimmer plays a game. For the time being, I guess it looks like we all will have to settle for being jimmered.