A Presidents' Day petition

Officially this day is in celebration of one our greatest founding fathers and our very first president George Washington. It is celebrated on the 3rd Monday of February, but was originally meant to be celebrated on his birthday which falls on the 22nd. Since it never lands on the 22nd, "Washington's Birthday" in some sense is a misnomer. Now it's chiefly regarded as Presidents' Day, a day to honor and remember past presidents.

I'm angry that hardly anyone gets the day off to celebrate me

We do not give enough credit to certain presidents and that is why we should have presidents day off. Like Memorial day, it would only make sense to pay our respects on the day that was set aside for them. Here is a list of some reasons as to why all employers should consider giving their employees the day off for Presidents' Day.

• We wouldn't have a holiday off until May otherwise. That's 5 months without a holiday off. The waiting time to next holiday could be reduced to 2 months instead. 

• Employers who have rested employees means more productivity, right?

• Without presidents we wouldn't have a nation and we wouldn't have jobs to go to. Therefore, let's have this day off because of that fact.

• Presidents are celebrities and many admire celebrities, so we should have the day off to celebrate them. 

• Or, if you don't like presidents in general, then you ought to get the day off and especially if the current president doesn't appeal to you. 

• This would be a good day to hold a protest against a president you don't particularly like. Since protesting is a favorite American past time, this would greatly reinforce the idea of actually having this day off to participate in such activities. 

• Washington is almost like a super hero which is reason enough to justify a day off.

George mad! Boat crowded!

• It should be used as a mental day off for things presidents screw up. For example, like a president putting the country in an absurd amount of debt.

• Some people will take it off anyway. Why not grant this to everybody and not make those poor employees use up their precious paid time off. 

• Some school kids get this day off, so why not the rest of us? They get the summer off and Presidents' Day? That's so unfair.

• Car dealerships would be in favor of this holiday being granted as time off because people would be more likely to spend more time on their lots looking for cars.

• In general, people would shop more given that they have more time to do so, thus strengthening the economy. The incumbent president would definitely be in favor of this idea for sure. A crappy economy doesn't go over well with people when the president is trying to get re-elected.

Among other valid reasons not mentioned above, these particular reasons make a great case here. This day should be considered by all business owners as an official day off from work for themselves and their employees. Okay, given the current soft economy, I doubt this would happen. Even in good times, it still wouldn't happen. This is just wishful thinking. I know. But I can only dream of it.

Hey, why is my light saber so much smaller than everyone else's?

Sunday parameters

 My name is John Hillstead and I'm co-hosting Seth's blog this week.  Make no mistake that this is entirely Seth's blog, but I earned the privilege of guest writing by posting hilarious comments on his board.  I can't guarantee that you'll ever get to be a guest writer here, but if you actually make comments on the board, you too could get the right to make a contribution on "entertaining ramblings."  So keep reading and start posting comments.  Between Seth and I we hope to gain at least five people that will faithfully follow this blog. (Excluding immediate family members who already read it out of obligation).

         The subject for my post came about a month ago when a few of our friends were trying to agree on a date when could all go snowboarding together.  Long story short we were having trouble coordinating our schedules so that we all could go together.  After two failed attempts it looked like we would never find a night that would work for all four of us.  We were about to jettison the idea altogether when I threw out the possibility of going boarding on a Sunday, because it might be the only day of the week that would work for all of us.

   Ok, so before you think that I am a complete reprobate for suggesting it, let me assure you that I didn't expect any of my friends to agree to Sunday snowboarding. And sure enough they all respectfully informed me that they wouldn't participate in a recreational activity on the Sabbath, even if it was the only day we could all go together.  I didn't push the issue, in fact, I applauded them for adhering to their conviction to keep the sabbath day holy.  As you are well aware,  we were finally able to find a day that would work for all of us and we had a good time snowboarding without breaking the sabbath(See Seth's blog entitled "snowboarding.")

       The whole incident got me thinking about how we as Latter Day Saints observe the sabbath.  It seems like one of those commandments that is open to a wide array of interpretations.  Most of my friends and family try to observe the sabbath, but it seems they all do it in a different way.  Now bear in mind I'm not calling anybody a hypocrit here, just making observations on how different people observe to keep the sabbath day holy.

      Sunday of course is a big day in the world of sports entertainment.  Most members I know would never attend a sporting event in person on Sunday (with the exception of my friend Doug, see Seth's blog entitled "Doug"). They also would never participate in a sport activity on Sunday.  However, nobody I know seems to have any qualms about watching sporting events on television on Sunday.  My dad in particular enjoys watching pro football after he attends his meetings.  He also relishes the opportunnity to watch the superbowl with his family every year.  In fact, everybody I know watches the superbowl, even those that claim they have no interest in football.   The event itself has transcended the world of sports and has become an unofficial national holiday which will always fall on Sunday.

         Some members view sabbath observance more stringently.  For instance, they refrain from watching television and doing homework on Sunday.  I think they must be the exception because I currently don't know  anybody who refrains from tv on Sunday.  In fact I think we watch an awful lot of tv on Sunday (but only after we attend our meetings of course).  We even watch movies on Sunday, either on our cable tv packages or on dvd.  Generally speaking nobody goes out to the movie theaters to see a movie on Sunday.  One time I was contemplating going to the cinema on the sabbath (ok now you really think I am a reprobate) my brother James admonished me not to go.  I rationalized by saying that we already watch movies at home on Sunday so why couldn't we go to the theater?  His response was that when we go to the theater, we are making somebody else work on Sunday.  I didn't end up going to the movie but I thought about his response.  Under that logic, can we rent a movie from redbox or download one from our netflix account?  What if I did go to the movie on Sunday but bought a ticket from the kiosk vender instead of the person at the box office?  That way I wouldn't be making anybody work on Sunday (at least not as many).

          Finally, as a general rule we reserve party's and get-togethers for other days of the week outside Sunday.  But there are a lot of exceptions to to that.  For instance if your birthday falls on Sunday we usually celebrate it.  Even if it doesn't, Sunday is a good day to have your birthday party because family and friends can celebrate with you.  I think we also have other partyesque activities on Sunday that we don't necessarily call parties.  For example in a former singles ward of mine a group gathered together every Sunday night after family home evening to have a "game night."  They would play get-together games card games and bring food.  I've known other singles wards to have "movie nights," where a circle of friends gather every Sunday to watch an old movie on DVD at somebody's house (see paragraph #4).   Some of you may even be old enough to remember the days when we had missionary farewells and homecomings.  The missionaries family would host an "open house" where members of his ward would leave church early to eat lunch buffet style and congratulate the departing missionary or welcome him home.  It wasn't called a "going away party" or a "welcome back party," we called it an "open house."  But of course the church came out and advised against those in 2002,  maybe because they looked too much like a party.  I'm just saying.  There are other examples of things we in the church do that look like parties but you get the idea.

              So there are just a few observations on how we as members of the church observe the sabbath.  But I want to know what you think. How do you as members of the church obey the sabbath?  Do you think we sometimes rationalize our sabbath activities like I did?  Or is it that sabbath day observation is really up to the individual and his family, i.e. many different ways to look at it?  I guess the most important question is how do you keep somebody like me from persuading you to do something you know you shouldn't be doing on the sabbath?  I think that is a post for another day.

V-day

Well, another Valentines day has come and gone and many of us are even glad that is finally over. Some of us never really gave it a second thought while others were fretting over every detail of the occasion. It is hard for some people to accept the holiday as a happy occasion. For them, they would rather not be reminded of how alone they are. My heart goes out to them and wish them future happiness with a possible soul mate. Also, I would like to impart some wisdom for these special individuals so that they will have better luck with their love lives in the future.

C-3po (from Star Wars)

Wow, you need a lot of help here. First of all, you need to lose that creepy stare. This doesn't help you when you arrive at the door to pick up your date. Loose the accent while you're at it. You're not using the correct British accent that melts a woman's heart. Also a big turn off is the wussy tone you use when the slightest bit of danger comes your way. Take a page out of Han Solo's book because he obviously knows what he's doing.


Ludo (from Labyrinth)

Okay, women appreciate a nice guy to a certain extent, but common Ludo who are you kidding? Also, you  might want to expand your social horizons and not just talk to rocks. Women also enjoy a good conversation. Saying "friend?" all the time doesn't get you past the first date as far as I remember. Also, just forgo any compliment concerning how she smells unless you are into women hitting you.

Muno (from Yo Gabba Gabba)

Muno, you got an uphill battle of the bulge here, pal. Not too many women are into the whole one-eyed, oh never mind. You might want to lay off shaving your whole body, seriously. Streaking might be your favorite past time, but not everyone appreciates it. It may very well land you in jail. Also, the obvious huge gap in your mouth might lead them to think you have a nasty case of halitosis from the dereliction of the simple duty to brush your teeth. The only redeeming characteristic you have is that you could tell them you're a new-age vampire to suck their love. On second thought, scratch that.




Spaghetti Cat (from The Soup)

I think you have something here. Women like cats, at least, most of them I think. One problem here is that you stare into space as if your regular cat brain was removed and replaced with a mentally retarded cat brain. Last time I checked, women want men who are slightly smarter than them. Oh, wait, you're not man. You're a cat! What am I talking about?




Masturbating Bear (From Conan O'brien)
All I have to say is that you need more hobbies. Go pick up hang gliding or learn how to juggle. Something.












Doug (No actual photo available)

First of all. You just need to make an attempt. You need some form of motivation. Something! Combine your love of sports with a woman. It's one of the oldest inventions known to man as far back as the invention of the wheel. It's called dating or mating I forget which. As far as I know, women also enjoy sports. On second thought, as they say, don't mix business (women) with pleasure (sports). Yeah, maybe you should stick to going to sporting events by yourself. I give up.

That's super

Well it's super bowl time again. I guess I've never really been a consistent fan of the Super Bowl. To be honest, I've never really followed what was going on in football let alone the Super Bowl. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against watching or even participating in sports. It's just that I've never truly cared about what is going on half as much as the true sports fanatic. Occasionally, I will indulge in the whole viewing frenzy, but I really don't understand how some people have to follow every little statistic about every player of every team across multiple sports. I do try to keep up with the major news in sports, but that's mostly it.

My idea of the fun around the Super Bowl in general is the opportunity to get together with a group of friends and enjoy the event as a whole. In other words, I enjoy the whole experience like the food, the entertainment and the funny/clever commercials throughout the game among other social aspects that come along with it. I really just see the Super Bowl as another excuse to have some friends over to have a party. Or, if maybe you're single you perhaps enjoy the company of strangers at a sports pub or bar or whatever. One aspect of the occasion I like especially are the ads.

Here's an ad that you might like, emphasis on might.


Football to the groin. Or, in this case a little person's head to the groin. Whatever, it's all the same to me. Football, or head. Bravo Doritos. I will now go to the store to pick up a bag to reward you for making me laugh. Okay, maybe not. 

Doug

Ok, there's this guy I know named Doug. Well, to be honest I know more than one Doug, but this particular Doug is fun to talk about. This particular Doug is one I used to work with a long time ago. About ten years ago, I used to work for this medical supply company where this particular Doug, now to this day, works. When I started working there he had been there already, I think, 8 years give or take, but nevertheless a long time. He still works there.... Not that it's a crumby job, it's just that, well.... I don't know how to explain it really. He strikes me as some sort of enigma. Not the normal type guy one really expects. No, he's not gay, but... well, I don't know what to describe him as really. He's just a nice guy. I like Doug as a friend in general. I have nothing negative to say about him what so ever. Like I said, he's a tough guy to figure out. He's just there to fill some void in the world that god had no idea what to do with. "umm, here's an empty spot, well..., I dunno. Oh, I'll just throw Doug there, that should take care of it.... done". 

A little background on Doug. Doug likes sports...a lot.... I think that's it. Moving on now. 

You're probably thinking to yourself. Why the hell are you talking about this guy. He sounds boring. He actually does sound like a normal guy. Hey, you're writing about a guy who sounds normal. I should be thinking that you're weird for writing about this guy in this first place. OK, you got me. I guess I'm a weirdo too, but at least I'm married, so there. Which brings me to the next topic.

A little more background on Doug. Doug dislikes dating...a lot.... If Doug were superman, girls would be his kryptonite. Let me reiterate that he's not gay. I think you can put the two together. Now you're saying to yourself.... wha?? Yeah, me too. It does not compute. What gets me is that he seems as content as can be about all these circumstances. 

So, you're thinking, OK, he's obviously single. He has a job that is relatively easy and doesn't require excessive hours. This includes him sitting by himself the better part of the day in his own vehicle doing his normal thing delivering various medical items among other duties. If you think about it, he has a low stress type lifestyle, really. So, what is it that drives him? That is what, after all these years, I have not figured out. Now the normal person perhaps would question himself as why he or she does what they do, but apparently not Doug. He appears not to care, yet be so content with himself.

In some strange way, I envy Doug of the fact he doesn't seem to give a damn about what people think of him. He's his own man; not bending to the will of the masses. He's a man every man should admire to some extent. Maybe we could learn a thing or two about him and summarily apply that knowledge to be better people. So, therefore, go be more passionate about sports and avoid dating as if it were the plague and you'll come to find out... uh, well... maybe that'd be a bad idea.... sayonara human race. 

Jimmer

Just recently I hired a chauffeur to take me to my place of employ. His pay is zero dollars per hour. This is great except I chauffeur my chauffeur the other half of the time. The bad thing is, my chauffeur has a unbecoming habit of always forgetting to pay me. So in other words, I work for this loser for free. I guess it all equals out since he also works for me for free anyway.

This chauffeur, we'll call him Steve, has his car radio tuned to some AM sports talk radio station all the time while riding in his car. As of late, there has been a lot of buzz over this BYU ball player named Jimmer Fredette. As everyone knows, he's become quite the darling in the world of sports. I even hear that people, namely women, want to name their children after this athlete. Now, I have nothing against this Jimmer guy in any way. He's seems like a guy I would want to play a casual pick up game with. OK, maybe that'd be a stupid idea. "Hey, Jimmer come kick my ass in B-ball. I need to be Jimmered". Jimmered?

Here's my definition of what the word jimmer has now come to mean so far as I have interpreted it based on the news attained while listening to Steve's radio:

Jimmer

[Jim-er]

verb, 

–verb

1. to beat another team senselessly

2. to be beaten by someone who is clearly more skilled than yourself

3. to gloat over after winning

4. to score an outrageous amount of points in a game

5. to be superior to

6. to be scammed by someone
7. used as a curse word

-Related forms

jim·mer·ly, adverb

jim·mer·ness, jim·mer·os·i·ty, noun

non·jim·mer·os·i·ty, noun

non·jim·mer·ous, adjective

non·jim·mer·ous·ly, adverb

non·jim·mer·ous·ness, noun

o·ver·jim·mer·ous, adjective

o·ver·jim·mer·ous·ly, adverb

o·ver·jim·mer·ous·ness, noun

qua·si-jim·mer·ous, adjective

qua·si-jim·mer·ous·ly, adverb

This word might show some potential. I suppose, if you want to impress those around you, just insert the word jimmer into any conversation and you'll be sure to get the respect and admiration you've ever desired. For example, just say, "Hey, those Jazz quasi-jimmerously defeated those Spurs tonight. Whatta game huh?", or, "I didn't play very well tonight. My performance was just so nonjimmerous, ya know?", or "Dammit, I got jimmered again. That's just my luck". 

So, what if jimmer becomes an actual word in the dictionary? What then? How about those people who end up giving their kids the name Jimmer. What's in store for them? What if the word becomes commonly used like, for example, bacon? Worse yet, it could possibly evolve into a curse word. I could only imagine what strange sounding sentences could possibly have the word jimmer in it. ''What the jimmer, you still owe me ten bucks", or "You're such a jimmerhole, Jimmer", or "There's so much jimmer I have to do before 5 o'clock, what a headache".

For me, perhaps the word jimmer will only just be one of those fad words some crazed fans made up that'll slowly die off as it loses it's catchy flare. I only hope it'll be bandied about for only a modicum of time before the next fun word of the day comes along. I have a sinking feeling that it's here to stay at least in the sporting world or sports commentary when Jimmer plays a game. For the time being, I guess it looks like we all will have to settle for being jimmered.

Snowboarding

Last weekend Nate, John, Clint and I went snowboarding and it was really fun for everyone. We went to Brighton for night boarding. It was the very first time for Nate ever. John has gone skiing before but never has been snowboarding so he had a leg up on Nate at least for getting onto lifts and general know how of what is going on the slopes. Clint had been a couple times before which meant he was king of the newbies relatively speaking. 

We started out on the bunny hill which was fine for a few times to get coordinated back into snowboarding. For my friends it was plenty for them. Clint mentioned he had no idea the bunny hill even existed and proceeded to the regular or what we aptly named the Big Boy Slopes. I believe Clint didn't want to tell anyone about ever going on a so called bunny hill before and therefore pretended that he had no prior knowledge of it. Lier! Only kidding Clint. 

I guess another name for the bunny hill is the kiddie slopes. For some reason, it didn't feel like a kiddie slope to me. There was a lot of swearing going. I even heard one of those rascals drop the F-bomb. I didn't realize those kids had such potty mouths. What does that say about today's parents. They should rename that slope to a more suitable name to let people know what's a family friendly hill and what's not.

As for Nate, It looked like he was doing well for his first time ever. Although, I wonder, maybe he was possibly bored with or even frustrated with snowboarding. Maybe he was thinking it would be more like the Nintendo snowboarding game SSX. He probably thought he could do ridiculous snowboard moves that defy the very laws of physics. While on the lift I noticed that his eyes were closed. He couldn't have been sleeping. I guess he was fantasizing about doing a 100ft jump over a lodge while doing 5 back flips, some 1080s and landing onto the lift cables and then grinding ever so gracefully all the way down. 

Oh, and John did well at snowboarding too. I almost forgot to mention him. Perhaps if he had quality bindings for his board, he would've done that much better. Most people think that the board makes all the difference, but no, it's the bindings. The board and even your boots could be utter garbage, but if you have top of the line quality bindings nothing will ever, ever get in your way.

As with anything you do in life, you must practice in order to get better with whatever it is you're doing. As far as snowboarding goes, we all have weaknesses. Even the best snowboarders have some thing that always gets the best of the them. Clint, no thanks to that stupid bunny hill on his first few snowboard outings, can only turn in one direction. He'll learn much faster next time on the Big Boy Hill. John, needs to learn how to turn, period. He's just not satisfied with being one with the trees. Binders that are good would help in this area. Nate, you're far from doing 1080s off a 50ft cliff, but thats OK neither am I. Maybe someday SSX will be a reality for you.

And then there was Doug... who was not with us. You see, Doug, well he joined a cult several years ago. I think the name of the cult was Heaven's Colosseum. I guess he's considered a colosseumnist or something. We don't see him often due to the rigors of being a member of it. What's sad is that it consumes a lot of his time and money. Maybe one day we could all come together for strength and organize an intervention for him. Poor Doug.

Wii wike Wii

I'm in no way in denial of the fact that the Wii is a fun and innovative console. It's just that... well, I feel like a little kid while playing it. Scratch that, I feel like a damn baby. Goo-goo ga-ga is one of the impulse feelings that somehow I can't prevent from raging through my body when I play it. Well that's mostly for the Mario-centric theme titles out there as far as I've notice. Maybe the whole console is laden with these babyish type games. Something just doesn't feel right when I play a game that seems to be geared towards the 5 years and younger crowd. I'd like to understand the psyche of those who thoroughly enjoy the Wii and its games.

How about those old folks who play the Wii in the nursing homes? Do they feel like babies while playing it? I imagine it would be like the mental fountain of youth for them. OK, maybe that's a stretch, but perhaps the government could conduct a thorough research on the Wii and the cognitive effects it has on the elderly. They could spend millions on it and tell everyone what we already knew about it - that Grandpa is still senile and doesn't realize he's playing a game meant for babies.

Ok maybe it's not for babies. Babies don't have the dexterity for any game for that matter not even the Wii. Perhaps it was meant for those who feel they should be like babies, like those who go to raves. They all must have must Wiis for sure. Or, maybe they don't. That's probably why they feel they need pacifiers in their mouths. News flash to rave people, you can don a diaper and suck a pacifier in the comfort of your own homes while playing the Wii. I highly recommend the Mario Party for you guys by the way.

Maybe life will play a cruel joke on me and I'll be that old senile guy in the nursing home wearing a diaper and playing whatever generation of the Wii that is available. I seriously hope not....

Intro

Hey there. I'm introducing this ridiculous blog into the wild for the first time. It needs to grow some wings and fly or at least have a couple of followers. I don't where I can tie "the wild" in with "wings and fly", but here goes. Am I saying this a stupid, inexperienced chickling on some pillar in a nest with other chicklings competing for worms from momma bird that you see in cartoons? Yes. In no way is this blog meant to be taken seriously. Like a clown in a clown show this blog is meant to be laughed at even at times admired, but mostly laughed at. Ok, maybe I'm going to far. This blog will replace every blog out there and thensome. Well, maybe it'll beat out your grandma's blog if it's lucky.